sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
