It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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