Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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