Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
