I like to think it a success when the cops are called
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
