Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm like, not good at living.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
