I cannot find my penis.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Randomize
