2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
one might say we're banned from that church
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
