I seem to have left my pride at pride
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
