I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
