tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
