hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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