I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
