It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
