yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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