Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
