even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
