I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
