It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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