she woke up with a sticky ear
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
this will be a night to untag.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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