My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Randomize
