After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
