Sry I called you an 8
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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