and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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