He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
