It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
