I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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