If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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