Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
