Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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