is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
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Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
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everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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