We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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