the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Randomize
