Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
