Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
someone threw a dead crab at me
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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