Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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