My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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