Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
