I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
we're so committed to being not committed
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
