It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
