Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
