check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
