like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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