Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
