She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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