Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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