i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
