so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i dont even know how to be here
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
