I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
two words...techno handjob
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Randomize
