Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
