I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
