I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
