just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Randomize
