Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
