Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
