Just fell off a train. Bad.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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