One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Success! We fucked roommates!
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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