I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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