I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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