You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize