adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
