In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
