and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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